Saturday, July 23. 2005
Urfengar: Dwarven Purgatory Part 2 Posted by The Mad Giggler
in D&D at
17:20
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Thelonious went on to recount his group's adventures saying that after the craven departure of the orcish hordes, the town of GladeKeep was overjoyed and celebrated their saviors with what few resources they had left (apparently some of the orcs managed to attack the town while Thelonious and company were stalking the hill giant.) As the business Nalathisor knew of was still pressiing, the adventurers decided to head out of town the next morning. However, on their way out of the city gates, a young halfing came pelting up on a steed worthy of his stature. He seemed to know Kitya (the druid) and told her that she was needed in distant Brindenford. The young paladin informed the group that his god required his services there as well, so the party agreed to accompany the lass and her small companion.
Upon reaching Brindenford without incident, Thelonious went with Llan to the local shrine of Heironeous while the rest of the group attempted to find lodgings. Llan was assigned a paladin's quest by his god, so Thelonious offered his support, which the half-elf gladly accepted. At this point in the story, my young friend grew quiet. Seeing that he didn't want to be pressed on the particulars of this holy quest, I asked him what his friends had done while he was off with Llan. He told me that upon completing Heironeous' task and returning to the city, the locals informed Llan and Thelonious that their friends were locked in combat on top of the local baron's keep. I've heard a bit of the story from those that were there, and it seems there had been all sorts of mad things going on. Wererats were running around in gangs infecting people, strange sorcerors were warping reality in some bookstore, and at some point, the local priests of Pelor were booted from their temple while a portal to one of the Nine Hells was opened up. Somehow, an Aasimar ranger, a human druid, a halfling rogue, an elven wizard-rogue, a half-elven wizardess, and an elven basher were able to put a stop to it. I know, it sounds like the beginning to some terrible halfling joke. Anyway, Thelonious and Llan arrived on the scene with a bunch of local holy men just as the mind flayer that had been running things turned tail and fled the battle. The baron had been under its control and was unsurprisingly confused as to what all these people were doing on his balcony. After the priests of Pelor smoothed things over with him, the baron threw a big party for his rescuers. Thelonious commented at this point, that it seemed like the group was going to be making a habit of saving towns as they passed through them. Thursday, July 21. 2005
Urfengar: Dwarven Purgatory part 1 Posted by The Mad Giggler
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20:32
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I wish I had thought to keep a journal before this, because I cannot remember how many days it has been since I saw Thelonious drop dead right before my eyes. I promised his parents I'd keep him safe. It was more than a little disconcerting to see him suddenly stiffen up, start pronouncing doom on the group in a very odd voice, then collapse on the ground dead. The fact that he was beyond my help before his knees even started to buckle has been no comfort whatsoever. Although I am young by my people's standards, I worked alongside little Blue's parents for a number of years and watched him grow into his skills bit by bit. Before the place burnt down, I'd talked with his instructors at the monastery, and they said he was very promising.
Thelonious told me he left the ruins of the monastery to go spread the word of St. Cuthbert. Some time later, he passed through town. Having grown tired of the never-ending bickering between the human leaders and the dwarven council that runs things in this corner of the land, I agreed to accompany Thelonious back to meet up with the party with which he'd been adventuring. As we made our way, he recounted his adventures, starting with the story of GladeKeep's stunning escape from sure destruction. As Thelonious told it, he met up with a half-elven bard/paladin (a strange combination of skills indeed) named Llan; Llan's father and uncle, an Elven fighter and Elven wizard/rogue respectfully; and a half-elven Wizardess named Azraiel. I told him I'd heard of groups comprised of stranger companions but generally preferred a little diversity myself. They all met up in some little village called NewKeep where an ettin had been causing enormous - erm - terrible problems. On their way to some business the wizard/rogue (name of Nalathisor) knew about, they encountered roves of wandering orcs bent on slaughtering any and all travelers. As is common among their kind, the foul beasts hadn't planned on encountering folks that could defend themselves. After rescuing some rangers, the five raced the orcs to GladeKeep with the survivors. There they learned that an army of orcs was advancing on the city with a hill giant directing them. They also encountered a human druid named Kitya and a powerful sorcerer dressed in red that seems bent on messing with Llan and his family. Kitya joined the party, bringing along her fox companion, Vanya, much to Jackle's delight (Jackle being the name of Llan's father). It turns out the sorcerer was in league with the hill giant, but Thelonious and his companions were unable to apprehend to villainous filth before he left the city. So they were left to defend the city with only the help of a handful of local militia. Heironeous (the paladin's god) took pity on them and showed them the way to disperse the advancing army was as easy as chopping of its head - the hill giant's head that is. As they sought a way through the orcish hordes, Thelonious and company stumbled upon a strange, human-ish looking ranger. Rath, as his name turned out to be, led them through to the hill giant's tent. After a battle only made even through the intervention of the gods, the seven adventurers watched the orcs flee in disarray while Jackle help up the giant's head for all to see. Thursday, July 21. 2005
Ramblings (For Lack of Something Better) Posted by The Mad Giggler
in Personal Entry at
19:29
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It's been far too long since anyone posted anything longer than a few lines. I guess everyone is suffering Potter-itis. Today is really the first day I've been able to think about much else. Ok, that's not entirely true. But I started reading Dune this morning on the train, so my brain has moved on from the Chosen One to the Kwisatz Haderach, at least as far as reading material goes.
I'd write more about video games, but I'm still mostly playing NFL 2K5. I think everyone has heard enough about football for the time being. I mean, the NFL season doesn't start for another seven weeks (college football, of course, starts a bit earlier - go Utes!). The only other game I've played lately is Jade Empire and it's difficult to discuss Bioware RPG's in any depth without giving away the plot. Fortunately, my home has been blessed with high-speed internet today, so I can get my Counter-Strike groove going again. In unrelated news, Radar and I were discussing posting all the latest happenings of Jackle, Nalathisor, Kitya, Maxwell, Azraiel, Rath, and Urfengar to the homestarmy. Since Glim and Llan can no longer meet up to continue their "Conversations" series, I figure we need an easy way to recap what's happened lately. People could even post journal entries from their character's point of view. P.S. Andy (Kermit) is almost done with The Half-Blood Prince, so everyone can start posting spoilers tomorrow. P.P.S. Wren will love this billboard. Thursday, July 21. 2005Prosper and Wash
Well, it seems that I've become a cat farmer. I am the proud new owner of two boy kittens (named Prosper and Wash) as well as hundreds of new digital pictures of them.
Now, if we can keep Nokie from eating them to secure her powerbase, we can start branching out into lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards, and cheetahs. Tuesday, July 19. 2005Yes
That would be correct, oh Ancient of Days.
Monday, July 18. 2005MurrayHQ
Because the English I do not properly speak, I will be referring to that place in Murray where Daboo and I live as the MurrayHQ.
That is all. Monday, July 11. 2005Potterphiles Unite!
Well, Friday you'll find Daboo, Wren, and me - along with a bunch of other Potter-geeks - partying hard at the Barnes & Noble in Bountiful. I've yet to find my ideal bumpersticker (Dumbledore for President), so I feel comfortable that for once, I won't be the geekiest person around. I finally decided to re-read The Order of the Phoenix, since I made credible progress on The Art of War (mostly due to riding TRAX to the office). I'm two chapters in, but Rowling makes for a much faster read.
It's funny how easy it is for some authors to suck me in. There's a certain something to their writing that makes me feel like I'm a part of the action. I think some might call it Quality. However, L.E. Modesitt has this power over me, so I'm not sure that Quality is really the reason. On the other hand, the large number of Potterphiles out there makes me think that saying Rowling's work is Quality makes sense. I find it very fascinating to see adults on the train surreptiously reading something from the Potter collection. I first heard about Harry right around the time the third book came out. I was working at a bookstore, and the store manager put up a poster promoting the first and second books (which at the time were only available in hardcover). I thought that was kind of interesting, and bought all three when The Prisoner of Azkaban came out. (At the time, I rarely took home much of a paycheck. I had a nasty habit of buying books without reading them.) I was enchanted. When word of the fourth installment's release date (in the summer of 2000) arrived, I was planning a trip to Tijuana to visit some friends and would actually leave town that day. So I worked a couple hours early that morning. It was crazy to see all the kids lined up outside the store, waiting for The Goblet of Fire to hit storeshelves (for the brief moment before it landed in their grubby little hands). On my way out, I picked up a copy of the book and the book on tape. I left the book at home for my roommates to read and listened to the book on tape during the twelve hour drive. I'm sure there are some people in Southern California who still wonder what all the ruckus was about as I screamed and shook my fist at the air while driving 80mph down the freeway. When the fifth book came out, it took me a whole day and a half to read it. I probably would have been able to accomplish the feat in about half that time, but sleep interfered as it so often does (right, TML?). If I ever meet J.K., I'll be sure to thank her for releasing this next book on a Saturday, so I can spend the whole weekend locked in a room gibbering about muggles, dementors, giants, and half-bloods. Well, in the meantime, I must get back to Hogwarts. Thursday, July 7. 2005Executive Order
I'm sorry, but I have to put a moratorium on the nickname Muffy. For those of us who are corrupt and have soiled minds, there are bad connotations. It has been proposed that Sgt. Muffin be turned in for Wren until a true nickname or nom de plume surfaces.
From wikipedia: The true wrens are members of a New World passerine bird family Troglodytidae containing 55 species. A troglodyte means a cave-dweller, and wrens get their scientific name from the tendency of some species to forage in dark crevices. They are mainly small and inconspicuous except for their loud songs. These birds have short wings and a thin down-turned bill. Several species often hold their tails upright. All are insectivorous. Only one wren, Troglodytes troglodytes, known as the Winter Wren in North America, also occurs in Europe, where it is commonly known simply as the Wren. According to European folklore, the Wren is the King of the Birds. Long ago the birds held a contest to see who could fly the highest; at first it looked as though the Eagle would win easily, but just as the Eagle began to tire, the Wren crept out from under the Eagle's tail feathers and soared far above. The wren's majesty is recognized in such stories as the Grimm Brothers' The Willow-Wren and the Bear. The small, stump-tailed Wren is almost as familiar as the Robin. It is small and mouse-like, easily lost sight of when it is hunting for food, but is found everywhere from the tops of the highest moors to the sea coast. Its movements as it creeps or climbs are incessant rather than rapid; its short flights swift but not sustained, its tiny round wings whirring as it flies from bush to bush. It is a bird of the uplands even in winter, vanishing into heather when snow lies thick above, a troglodyte indeed. It frequents gardens and farms, but it is quite as abundant in thick woods and in reed-beds. When annoyed or excited its call runs into an emphatic churr, not unlike clockwork running down. Its song is a gushing burst of sweet music, loud and emphatic. It has an enormous voice for its size. Individuals vary in volume as well as quality of song. The song begins with a few preliminary notes, then runs into a trill, slightly ascending, and ends in full clear notes or another trill. At all and any season the song may be heard, though most noticeable during spring. At night, usually in winter, it often roosts, true to its name, in dark retreats, snug holes and even old nests. In hard weather it may do so in parties, either consisting of the family or of many individuate gathered together for warmth. Wednesday, July 6. 2005Art of War
As a rule, in a military operation you need to change tactics a hundred times at every pace, proceeding when you see you can, falling back when you know there is an impasse. To talk about government orders for all this is like going to announce to your superiors that you want to put out a fire--by the time you get back with an order, there is nothing left but ashes.
I'm three chapters in now, so I thought I'd type up my favorite passage so far. Tuesday, July 5. 2005
New Gallery Section Posted by The Mad Giggler
in Gathering Darkness at
22:52
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There is now a gallery section for the Homestarmy website. It's available from the frontpage or by clicking here. There is a webcomic/manga in the works, and the first page should be up later this week.
Sgt. Muffin, I need an email address from you, so I can forward your username/password combo along. Oh, and don't get too attached to your current nickname. Friday, July 1. 2005
Classic Moments in Gaming: Football Posted by The Mad Giggler
in Gaming at
18:19
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I know, another article about sports. Daboo and [nameless one] will resort to skimming at this point, no doubt. Anyway, since the NBA finally wrapped up its season (for all of 1 week), it's time to start getting ready for football (as Sideshow already noted). I've been playing some NFL 2K5 in the evenings to get my mind prepared for all the worn-out cliches about to hit the airwaves. Sega's entry in the video game football genre lacks the pizazz of hearing John Madden proclaim "I love this game" two or three times a minute, but it makes up for it in other ways (see price tag). And I get to hear about the value of tearing a page out of War and Peace - it doesn't make much of a dent.
"Flag on the play." To move more into the vein of Classic gaming, I have to say that Pat Summerall will go down in history for his work on the Madden football franchise. Sure, just mentioning the guy means I have to be careful not to sound too much like Bill Simmons (ESPN's Sports Guy - who's had some great jokes at Summerall's expense), but it's impossible to talk about video game football without mentioning all those classic lines delivered in the early (and not-so-early) Madden games. I think I can say with complete honesty that I've never heard a more exciting monotone. "Uh-oh. There's a man down." This is one of my favorite Summerall lines. There used to be an exploit in these games where you could move your guy around after the whistle was blown and tackle players on the opposing team. I remember all those times when the game was on the line, and my opponent's quarterback just couldn't be stopped; so I would go after the QB with a lineman. \*Badly garbled crunching sound\* and. . .wait for it. YES! I have successfully played the Cobra Kai card. This game is mine. All those real NFL players out there can be thankful I'm not the opposing coach. "Boom!" While cheating was good for a laugh (especially when playing against friends who would get surprisingly angry to see their star QB in the locker room for the rest of the game), it was far better to win the game as the clock is winding down. This may be why Adam Vinatieri is my favorite NFL placekicker. \*cough\* Taking home the Lombardi trophy on a last second field goal is great, but for trash-talking purposes, it doesn't seem to compare with that drive-killing interception in the red zone. Nothing takes the wind out of your sails like driving all the way down the field, knowing the win is in your grasp, only to see Ty Law pluck the ball out of the sky. Let me know if you want any more lemon juice in the paper cut, AoD. Thursday, June 30. 2005Sgt. Muffin
Regardless of what the Ancient of Days thinks, people can't be giving themselves nicknames. It just isn't done. We only let TML use his own self-created "Ancient of Days" because I never thought "Mother" was a very good fit, "Sneakers" aside. And I think more people know him as TML than Joey.
So these two muffins are baking in the oven. One says to the other, "Wow, we're expanding." The second muffin replies, "Eek! A talking muffin!" After hearing that joke, I prematurely bestowed the name "Muffin" on our lovely kender. Please, people, we need something better. Ok, person who still lacks a usable pen name/nickname. You now have an account on the Homestarmy. Your username is rose, you'll have to call me for your password. Thursday, June 30. 2005ONLY 16 FREAKING DAYS
The Half-Blood Prince is Neville.
Oops. Did I just say that? Eh, it's just a rumour I heard. So. . .I feel that the time has arrived to put on my wizard's cap and get ready for some Potter-mania. I've been putting off thinking about Harry Potter for a long time. It seems like this sixth book was announced ages and ages ago. I guess that's what happens when Amazon starts taking pre-orders a week after the last one has been released. And by the way, CURSE YOU, RADAR! $*%&(*!!! I can't say anything else without blowing his cover. I read The Order of the Phoenix in about 36 hours. I haven't re-read any of the books since then, and I'm trying to decide if I have time to do that before the Big Day. I'm leaning towards "no," since I'm a grand total of one chapter into the Art of War (which I'm supposed to have finished by Monday). I told Daboo last night that Dumbledore is going to tell Harry, "I am your uncle." Today I decided that maybe it needed some embellishment. So, here's the thing: Dumbledore and You-Know-Who are dueling on the parapets of Hogwarts with Harry looking on. YKW is losing and ends up hanging over the side of the castle. He then reveals that. . .nevermind, this scenario is worse than the joke that inspired it. So. . .D&D on Monday. . .*clears throat* Monday, June 27. 2005
Radar is Going to the Mall Posted by The Mad Giggler
in Personal Entry at
23:28
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Radar is going to go to the mall.
There he will have a dinner not small. Of his chicken nuggets, he will eat all. For that is how he became so tall. Yet that is not why his pate is hairless. No, that story is quite another mess. He once fed a man to the monster in Loch Ness For revealing the secrets behind his baldness. I am not a man so brave. Peace and security are things I crave. Rhythm and meters are things I save For those more deserving, not this knave. But rhyming is something in which I delight. It tickles my fancy and makes my thoughts take flight. Not getting silly, however, try as I might, Is something for which I must always fight. Friday, June 24. 2005Math Jokes
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician were having lunch at a cafe. They watched two people enter the building across the street. A bit later, they see three people exit.
The physicist deduces, "The measurement was inaccurate." The biologist proclaims, "They reproduced." The mathematician then suggests, "Now if one more person enters the building it will be empty." Well, the Homestarmy blog is now up and running. Please reply to this article using the comments field below if you want me to set up a username/password for you. |
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