Don't Eat The Marshmallow

It seems a simple challenge: take a four-year-old, give him a marshmallow, and leave the room. Will he scarf that marshmallow right away? What if you tell him that if it's still there when you get back in 15 minutes, he'll get a second marshmallow? Will he resist temptation?

The answer depends on the four-year-old, and surprisingly much depends on whether he has that sort of self-control or not. If he does succeed in resisting the marshmallow, he's much more likely to succeed in school and then in life as he grows to adulthood. If he stuffs it in his mouth as soon as you leave the room, he's much more likely to be impulsive, have behavioral problems, and fail at school as he matures.

Read the article for the full, very interesting, report on this unique test of will, especially if you are or plan on ever being responsible for the success of a child. Delaying gratification is a skill nobody really talks about, but one which can determine whether your child grows to be a failure or a success.

I tried this test on Preston, who (as we all know) has his share of behavioral problems, severe enough that the State classifies him as "special needs." With great ceremony and solemnity I presented him with a marshmallow. I placed it on the shelf in his room right at eye level and within reach. I explained that it was his, and he could eat it--BUT--if it was still on that shelf when I came back, I would give him a second marshmallow also, and he could eat both.

Then I left for 15 minutes. I waited with mild anxiety. Would he fail? Was he eating it RIGHT NOW? When I went back into the room he was sitting on his bed, hands clasped together between his knees, staring straight in front of him into space. This is his "time out" pose, oddly enough. And there was the marshmallow, sitting right where I'd left it, a foot away from him. When I came in, he leapt to his feet with a grin on his face, completely pleased with himself. And he scarfed those two marshmallows at the same time, stuffing them into his face with total satisfaction.

After reading the article I think I'll try it on my older kids, too--it's important information to know, whether your kid has impulse control or not. For one thing, you can teach them tricks to help them control their impulses if you know that they failed the test. I am going to buy mini candy bars, and big candy bars. I'll tell Skyler and E (6 and 9) that they can have the little one now, and it's theirs--BUT--if they bring it to me tomorrow morning uneaten, they get the bigger version of the candy bar also. We'll see how they do. Care to place bets?